Question: I am living with my husband away from my home country where my parents live. My father is ill, and my mother takes care of him. I am always stressed out in leaving them alone. Whom should I stay with, my parents or my husband? I am not able to support them financially unless my husband gives them money once in a while. I make dua for them but still feel like I am sinning.
Answer:
Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question. I empathize with your feelings and I understand the pain of leaving your parents alone when they are unwell and alone. I pray that you can contribute to finding a solution even if you cannot help yourself.
Living With Parents or Husband
There is no question that you should live with your husband. He has rights over you, you have rights over him, and you belong under the same roof. The rank of a husband is as great or greater than that of a parent because not only does the Shari’a oblige obeying him, but also society and families meet their demise when women are not supporting and respecting their husbands.
Financial Support Of the Parents
A woman is obliged to financially support her parents if she earns, has her own money, and is able to earn. If you feel that your parents need your financial help, talk to your husband about you working part-time or him contributing regularly to your parents.
In the meantime, you should do what you can for your parents from afar. Call them regularly as you are already praying for them. Ask some of your friends or relatives who live near your parents to go over and check on them or cook for them. When you do go and visit, try to cook food and freeze it for them and clean the house. Most importantly, ask Allah to help you help them and He will send you a solution, by His grace. May Allah reward you for being concerned about your goodness to them and may He send you a child that will also care for you.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approve By Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Proudly brought to you my Seekers Guidance, read more here.
Since You’re Here… we have a small favour to ask.
In these extraordinary times, millions rely on HOTD for daily uplifting & inspiring content. Established since 2009 and with your kind support we’ve seen readers elevate their Imaan & strive for better on a daily basis. We’re committed to keeping our content freely available and open for all readers. Every contribution, however big or small, makes a difference and help us spread knowledge to millions daily
HOTD is something special, it’s a place where people can come to be inspired, to renew their faith, to learn and share knowledge, to fall in love with our faith and also our Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family).
All content on HOTD is free. We believe what we do in this life builds for the next one and we work tirelessly with the aim to please Allah and inspire the global Muslim community as
well as providing information and inspiration for anyone interested in Islam. We simply cannot do this without your support and your support helps us continue our services.
If there were ever a time to join us, it is now. You can support HOTD and help sustain our future. Support Hadith of the Day and make a one-off donation or give regularly from as little as £10 a month Jazak’Allah Khayr – whatever you donate will come back to benefit you Insha’Allah as whatever is spent in the way of Allah is an investment in the future and the next life. Thank you.
