Assalamualaikum rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
My name is Erin-Eileen. I am a revert to Islam. The reason behind deciding to convert to Islam is simple. I read just the first chapter of Quran and I knew it was the truth. As I kept studying Islam, I realized Islam was scientifically correct. I am person who leans on logic. I was originally born into a Mormon household. My family believes in the Holy Bible and the Book of Mormon. But I found that there were many verses that contradicted science. I am very curious and inquisitive individual, so in Sunday school I would often ask why some verses did not coincide with scientific facts. They told me “just to have faith”. And so that’s exactly what I did. I blindly followed a religion because that is what was expected of me.
During high school, I became more curious. I wondered why I was in the Church that my parents brought me up in. I did have faith in God, but in the Mormon faith you also believe Jesus(PBUH) was a God as well. That didn’t make any sense to me. It was often confusing because I didn’t know who I was praying to. I decided to try out Christianity but they believed Jesus was God, which didn’t make any sense to me either.
I was left with questions and after questions. Until I stumbled across Islam. I had Muslim friends and saw how happy and true they were to their faith. I wondered what was so intriguing about Islam. I saw what the media put out about radical Islam but contradicted what I saw from my Muslim friends. They were the most peaceful individuals I’ve ever come across with.
What also intrigued me was hijab. I saw that it wasn’t just about the headscarf but the way hijabis carried themselves. It was very elegant, yet independent and empowering. I then started to wear the hijab to see how it would feel. And I felt more empowered and a peace came upon me like I never felt before. I decided I wanted to become Muslim.
I then took my shahada at the mosque and I felt my whole world changed for the better.
But it was the aftermath that started my ups and downs in the faith. My mother was quite supportive when she first found out but had her days where she was against it. My father was completely against it and still to this day. In shaa Allah he will change.
I then felt an obligation to my parents to continue in my previous faith because it made them happy. But deep down it made me miserable. I slowly though became to be ostentatious. I noticed this right away and decided that I needed to make up my mind. Indecisiveness has always been my weakness, but I needed to make up my mind.
It took some time away from everyone. At the recent time, I was dating someone of the Mormon faith. I realized quickly what I was doing. I knew it was haram but it seemed to make my parents very happy. But it was in that moment that I realized…when was the last time I performed salah?
One thing I have learned in my journey in Islam is if you lose salah, you lose everything.
I had to come to the fact that I was being disloyal and I was sinning and I decided to repent.
This process was the most difficult but the most rewarding. I told the boy I was dating everything clearly. And I ended it. I told my parents which was the hardest. Since I was always on and off when it came to my Muslim faith they did not take me seriously at first. But this time I was determined and I rekindled my love for Allah(SWT) and for the Prophet Muhammad(PBUH). I sincerely started to study and pray and attend Friday prayer as much as possible. And I started to see change. Slowly but surely.
For fellow reverts, I understand how hard it is to leave your previous lifestyle. But we must remember to remember God, then He will remember us. We must remember why we reverted in the first place. And we must not forget that our Lord is merciful and loving. And if Islam is beginning to be hard, then you are doing it incorrectly. Because it is supposed to bring ease and peace.
by Erin Clegg