Question:
My wife doesn’t want to have sex with me a lot because her hair is so long it touches her waist and apparently she has to wash it after intercourse and dry it which takes an hour so what shall I do? Does she have to wash her whole hair?
Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh
Thank you for your question.
There are two separate issues that must be addressed here. One is the right of the spouse to have intercourse, and the other is the washing of the hair while doing ghusl.
As for the first issue, the Prophet (peace be upon him) emphasized the right of the spouse to be sexually satisfied. This is not an exclusive right of the husband but rather the right of both spouses upon one another in order to encourage halal intimacy so that one does not seek satisfaction through impermissible means. So if the husband in this case desires his wife, she cannot disregard his want to have sexual intercourse on the basis of her long hair. If what Is troubling her is the length of her hair, she should trim it within permissible boundaries to make it easier to maintain. The right of the husband to have intercourse with his wife is far more important than her desire to have long her.
As for the second issue which is washing the hair while doing ghusl, yes she must wash her entire hair unless her hair is braided. If the hair is braided it does not need to be undone. This is taken from the hadeeth of Umm Salamah (ra) who said: “I said, oh Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), I am a woman who braids her hair, should I undo it to do ghusl after having intercourse?’ He said, ‘No. It is enough for you to pour water over your head three times.’” (Muslim). Ayesha (ra) also said “The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and I used to do ghusl using one vessel, and I never did more than pour water on my head three times.’” (Muslim) This is when Ayesha (ra) had braided hair. Otherwise a woman must wash all of her hair to the roots.
May Allah allow you both to find a reasonable resolution and bless your marriage. Ameen.
And Allah knows best.
Answered by Shaykh Omar Suleiman
Hadith of the Day Imam
Director – Islamic Learning Foundation
Since You’re Here… we have a small favour to ask.
In these extraordinary times, millions rely on HOTD for daily uplifting & inspiring content. Established since 2009 and with your kind support we’ve seen readers elevate their Imaan & strive for better on a daily basis. We’re committed to keeping our content freely available and open for all readers. Every contribution, however big or small, makes a difference and help us spread knowledge to millions daily
HOTD is something special, it’s a place where people can come to be inspired, to renew their faith, to learn and share knowledge, to fall in love with our faith and also our Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family).
All content on HOTD is free. We believe what we do in this life builds for the next one and we work tirelessly with the aim to please Allah and inspire the global Muslim community as
well as providing information and inspiration for anyone interested in Islam. We simply cannot do this without your support and your support helps us continue our services.
If there were ever a time to join us, it is now. You can support HOTD and help sustain our future. Support Hadith of the Day and make a one-off donation or give regularly from as little as £10 a month Jazak’Allah Khayr – whatever you donate will come back to benefit you Insha’Allah as whatever is spent in the way of Allah is an investment in the future and the next life. Thank you.
