Question:
My husband and I have been married for two and a half years now, but we have not yet consummated our marriage. He does not have a physical problem. He tells me the reason is because of school and family pressure, but I just don’t know if that’s true. This issue has taken a toll on my confidence, and I sometimes regret marrying him, even though in absolutely everything else we are perfect. I love him, and I love taking care of him. He is extremely nice to me, and we really are best friends. However, he refuses to go to marriage counseling or personal counseling. No one knows about this problem, and everyone keeps asking me when we are going to have kids. Any advice on how to fix this problem without a divorce?
Answer:
Sexual problems are multidimensional and complex. Various factors can interfere with a couple’s sexual function and satisfaction. It is unclear from your question if you and your husband engage in other sexual activity, and if it’s just intercourse that hasn’t occurred. There may be many reasons for your husband not consummating the marriage.
Even though you may not suspect a “physical” problem, it is always good practice to consult a physician to rule out physiological problems. Your husband may have an undiagnosed medical condition (for example depression) that is impacting his libido. If he is taking any medication, be aware that some medication can have sexual side effects. Perhaps your husband is struggling with unresolved psychological issues. He could be anxious about settling down and beginning a family. Some men may have experienced trauma or abuse as a child. Others continue to struggle with sexual orientation issues even after marriage. Some men may feel pressure to perform sexually in certain ways. Porn is also a major problem that can impact a person’s desire for his partner. Additionally, examine your relationship. Has anything changed? Do you communicate well? Has he distanced himself?
Almost every couple at some point in their marriage will report a sexual concern or problem. Unfortunately, many couples who do not seek professional help for their sexual problems will likely divorce. It is important for you to seek couples counseling. This is not just your husband’s problem- it is your issue as a couple.
Use your friendship and love for each other to work together to resolve the sexual difficulty. It is clear that you care deeply about your husband and want to continue with him. It can be difficult to share with someone about your sexual problems, but trained professionals can offer you guidance while respecting your religious values. Remember: God tests His servants in different ways. However, He also asks us to be proactive. The longer you wait to address this issue, the more it will strain your relationship. Reach out. Consult a counselor to help you and your husband work together as a team to strengthen your marriage and enhance your intimacy.
Original Source: http://www.virtualmosque.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/martial-intimacy-problem/
Since You’re Here… we have a small favour to ask.
In these extraordinary times, millions rely on HOTD for daily uplifting & inspiring content. Established since 2009 and with your kind support we’ve seen readers elevate their Imaan & strive for better on a daily basis. We’re committed to keeping our content freely available and open for all readers. Every contribution, however big or small, makes a difference and help us spread knowledge to millions daily
HOTD is something special, it’s a place where people can come to be inspired, to renew their faith, to learn and share knowledge, to fall in love with our faith and also our Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family).
All content on HOTD is free. We believe what we do in this life builds for the next one and we work tirelessly with the aim to please Allah and inspire the global Muslim community as
well as providing information and inspiration for anyone interested in Islam. We simply cannot do this without your support and your support helps us continue our services.
If there were ever a time to join us, it is now. You can support HOTD and help sustain our future. Support Hadith of the Day and make a one-off donation or give regularly from as little as £10 a month Jazak’Allah Khayr – whatever you donate will come back to benefit you Insha’Allah as whatever is spent in the way of Allah is an investment in the future and the next life. Thank you.
