Today we’re going to ask you to do something difficult. Very difficult. Some might say impossible….
In fact we’re fairly sure 90% of people reading this won’t be able to do this. Hopefully we’re wrong. And Allah knows best.
Backbiting is a MAJOR sin and every single person reading this message has probably at some point in their life backbitten someone, so firstly let’s quickly address the definition of backbiting from the greatest source we have.
Abu Dharr once asked the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him): O Messenger of Allah, what is gheebah? He replied: It is to mention about your brother that which he detests. Abu Dharr said: O Messenger of Allah, what if that which is mentioned of him should actually be in him? He replied: Know that when you mention that which is in him, you have committed his gheebah, and when you mention that which is not in him, then you have slandered him.
Even listening to backbiting is a sin
Prophet Muhammad (s) once said to Imam Ali: O Ali! When someone hears the backbiting of his Muslim brother committed in his presence, yet he does not rally to his assistance despite being capable of doing so, God shall humiliate him in the world and in the Hereafter
So now we’ve addressed the definition let us add a few more important points.
Did you know backbiting is more of a sin than adultery. You know why? When you commit adultery you can ask Allah for forgiveness and Allah can forgive you but when you backbite someone Allah cannot forgive you unless the person you spoke ill of forgives you first.
The Prophet once gave counsel to Abu Dharr, saying: O Abu Dharr! Beware of backbiting, for backbiting is graver than adultery. Abu Dharr (r) said: Why is that so, O Messenger of Allah? He (s) replied: That is because when a man commits adultery and then repents to God, God accepts his repentance. However, backbiting is not forgiven until forgiven by its victim.
So what shall we do? The choice is actually simple but very difficult. It’s a real battle of confronting our ego and pride and showing humility.
We need to start asking people for forgiveness. We need to approach people with humility, whether it’s a phone call, a text message, an email but ideally should be a direct communication between you and the person you want to approach. Yes it’s difficult but not impossible. Ask for their forgiveness and when they forgive you, you’ll feel lighter, more relieved. If you think this is beyond you, you’re wrong. You can do it.
Imagine the alternative? You’re now standing in front of Allah and your account is about to begin. You look to your right and you feel happy looking at all your good deeds. Suddenly your good deeds start vanishing and you’re panicking. The good deeds are going to all the people you have backbitten against, your father, brother, sister, mother, wife, friend, cousin, work colleague.
So start now, have a plan. Speak to 1 person a week and ask for their forgiveness. Maybe they will also ask for your forgiveness. You may look small in their eyes but you’ll look BIG in Allah’s
You can do it.
Hadith of the Day Blog
18 comments
May we be forgiven. One of the major sins yet indulged in by many.
Pls provide references for the hadeeth quoted.
Assalaamu Alaikum,
Sister, please refer this link for the references.
http://islamqa.info/en/23328
Jazaakumullaahu Khairaa.
What if the other person is not a Muslim?
The good character of a Muslim is for everyone, Muslim or non Muslim.
What if the other person is not a Muslim?
To gossip the truth about someone, you are backbiting.
To gossip lies about someone, you are slandering.
And if you sit back and allow backbiting or slandering, well, nothing more can be said about you.
We must be very careful about what kind of information we spread and the words we speak. People take their words too lightly these days.
Excellent article! Made me really think about my past,and I can not express my gratitude for the template !May Allah bless you all.
I really appreciate your efforts that you doing, It would be good if you could also quote the Hadith Source, Name, Number etc….
Asalaam’Alaykum, thx for this wonderful article. But what should I do if I do not remember all the people I backbited and I meet no more. Thank you in advance.
http://www.dailyquranhadith.com
>>”Allah cannot forgive you unless the person you spoke ill of forgives you first.””
This is also a big sin.. please change it to “Allah *won’t* forgive you unless the person you spoke ill of forgives you first.”
I agree with you my dear, one 100 percent. Thanks for reminding what we have all forgotten.
But
I will not agree with one Sentence you mentioned, and I quote “Allah cannot forgive you unless the person you spoke ill of forgives you first”.
As far as I am concerned, you or anyone for that matter, CAN NOT say what ALLAH SWT can or can not do. No Sir. ALLAH SWT is beyond our limits of commenting on HIS part.
As far as I’m concerned, all I know, through teachings and books that I have read, is that Gheebah WILL NOT BE FORGIVEN BY ALLAH SWT UNLESS THE PERSON AGAINST WHOM IT WAS COMMITED, FORGIVES.
There is a huge difference between ALLAH SWT can not and ALLAH SWT will not.
Kindly correct it as it is your own commentary and not proven by any ayah or hadeeth that ALLAH SWT CAN NOT.
Second of all. Let me give you a piece of advice while we are at it.
Whenever you mention the one who has created you and me, always use Salutation. Never write Allah (SWT) alone. As you have on several occasions in this article. Always use SWT or AWJ, or JJWJSh.
But of course, it is just a suggestion.
I would like to add to the above. The point of practicality which Islam totally is. I recommend reading the link http://islamqa.info/en/23328 to understand more about forgiveness & asking for forgiveness in case of backbiting.
Repentance and refraining from the sin would also be necessary.
In times such as these wherein gossip is considered normal..reminders such as these are extremely essential to keep us on the straight path.
Very good article! Learned a lot from this!!
good
#HOTD does saying something bad about a non muslim behind his back count as Geebah too? like if someone say he is not a good football player or he is too proud etc
What happens if you can’t remember who you back bited about?
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
“Whoever wrongs a person by slandering him, backbiting about him or insulting him, then repents, Allah will accept his repentance, but if the one who was wronged finds out about that, he has the right to settle the score. But if he slandered him or backbit about him and the person did not hear of that, then there are two views according to the scholars, both of which were narrated from Ahmad, the more correct of which is that he should not tell him that he spoke against him in his absence. It was said that he should rather speak well of him in his absence just as he spoke badly of him in his absence, as al-Hasan al-Basri said: the expiation for gheebah is to pray for forgiveness for the person about whom you backbit. Majmoo’ al-Fataawa.”
And Allah knows best.