Question:
Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.
I am 20 years old and want to get married to a young man, but he is non-Muslim. He says he is ready to become Muslim, pray 5 times a day, and even go on Hajj. I do not think my parents will agree, as he has a bad past. How do I know if he is meant for me? What should I do?
Answer:
Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.
I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.
Islam
“And Allah shall love you and forgive you your sins. Allah is Most-Forgiving, Very-Merciful.” (Sura Aal Imran 3:31)
Please encourage this young man to embrace Islam as soon as possible. I pray that Allah helps him make good on his Islam, whether or not you get married to him. With sincere practice of the din, please know that all of his past sins are forgiven.
Marriage
In short, once he is Muslim, then your marriage contract to him will be valid. However, because you are young and have not been married before, I strongly suggest that you marry him only with the blessings of your parents. Young marriages are often better able to thrive with family support.
Please speak to your parents about how you want to get married to this young man, after he becomes Muslim. You are right – most parents would be unhappy about their daughter wanting to marry someone with a bad past. However, once he becomes Muslim, then Allah forgives all his bad deeds. The question is whether or not your parents can. In fact, it is obligatory for you and for him to hide his past sin, unless there is some kind of outstanding debt which he needs to pay.
Istikhara
Please perform the Prayer of Guidance as many times as you need to, until you get clarity about how to move forward. Your parents softening towards him could be a positive sign, whereas your parents being firm on refusing his proposal could be a negative sign for you.
Preparation
I encourage you to read Before You Tie The Knot and complete the Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriages course.
Please know that love is insufficient for a marriage to work. Marriage thrives when it is within a bedrock of shared values and a commitment to treat each other well, for Allah’s sake.
Sensitive topic
Please forgive me for my bluntness, but if this young man has had previous sexual relationships, then I suggest that he get a blood test done to ensure that he does not have any sexually-transmitted diseases.
May Allah facilitate what is best for you and this young man, in this world and the next.
Proudly brought to you by Virtual Mosque, more Virtual Mosque can be found at http://www.virtualmosque.com/relationships/marriage-family/parents/treasure-your-parents/
Since You’re Here… we have a small favour to ask.
In these extraordinary times, millions rely on HOTD for daily uplifting & inspiring content. Established since 2009 and with your kind support we’ve seen readers elevate their Imaan & strive for better on a daily basis. We’re committed to keeping our content freely available and open for all readers. Every contribution, however big or small, makes a difference and help us spread knowledge to millions daily
HOTD is something special, it’s a place where people can come to be inspired, to renew their faith, to learn and share knowledge, to fall in love with our faith and also our Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family).
All content on HOTD is free. We believe what we do in this life builds for the next one and we work tirelessly with the aim to please Allah and inspire the global Muslim community as
well as providing information and inspiration for anyone interested in Islam. We simply cannot do this without your support and your support helps us continue our services.
If there were ever a time to join us, it is now. You can support HOTD and help sustain our future. Support Hadith of the Day and make a one-off donation or give regularly from as little as £10 a month Jazak’Allah Khayr – whatever you donate will come back to benefit you Insha’Allah as whatever is spent in the way of Allah is an investment in the future and the next life. Thank you.
